Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
