So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I will be naked everywhere
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
