He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
