Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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