Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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