i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
