I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
