whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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