It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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