Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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