And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
