He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
