I'm so fucking centered right now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
