You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
