Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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