He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
