I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
