I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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