okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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