god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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