They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
