Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
