Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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