i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
so much tequila, so little girl.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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