Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
