Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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