well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
