I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just tell him i said nine months
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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