I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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