After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
