If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
