my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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