I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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