We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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