she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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