There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
