Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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