like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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