I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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