GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize