**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize