thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
