if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
