Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize