wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
