omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
