I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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