Porn is love you can see.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And then he peed in my hair
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