The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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