weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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