There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So here I am, sexting at work.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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