I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i drank out of a bidet.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
