Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
