I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
