we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
