You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
