i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
