Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
